admitting my challenges

Sorry for being MIA lately….been catching up on some much needed relaxation time.

In the past month I have turned 30 which was celebrated with amazing friends and family. In the past month I have also become very aware of faults I have generated in the past year.

I am learning (with the unending help of my other half) to leave work at home an enjoy time away from work. As painful as it sounds this means hiding my phone ALOT in order to focus on my home life and the people I love, so if I missed your call one night it is because my phone was hiding.

This is something I struggle with on a daily basis. I unfortunately lost a relationship partly because of the lack of separation between work and home on both our parts and this is something I never want to happen again. Many lessons have been learned in my past 30 but especially in the past 5 years of my life. So many ups and downs. I look forward in the next five years to learning how to balance a career and a personal life better. I also have a main goal of learning how to get out of my head. I tend to over think and over analyze to the point that it drives me into a funk and I lose sight of the good around me. I push and push for answers in my personal life when in reality I am thinking and jumping to conclusions about their feelings.

As mentioned, the loss of my past relationship (as much as I hate to admit) has really affected my ability to let go.  Now this comes in two fold. One benefit is I feel I have learned to take risks and push myself out of my comfort zone when it comes to my life and adventures but this has not carried over when it comes to personal relationships.  In my personal relationships is where I find I over think and jump to conclusions. I find that my self confidence for adventure and trying new things has sky rocketed and my confidence for relationships has taken a huge beating. Actually believing that someone truly loves me and will be there in good times and bad is the part I struggle with, mainly because this was a huge fail before. I have become jaded and turned into the cynical girl who thinks “don’t get too attached, everyone always ends up breaking up eventually”

I yearn for the unwavering trust and sigh of relief….

This is where the man in my life comes into play. He is wonderful and giving and knows how to read me better than anyone I have ever met before. I have the guy who supports me and makes me feel like I have a team on my side in a way I have never felt before, so why and I so afraid to let go and let the team catch me?

The next challenge I am facing is the one that has to do with a painfully slower metabolism (way more superficial than what was previously mentioned). I have begun to pay close attention to exercise and nutritional intake so you may see some posts once a week that have to do with a healthier lifestyle. Any feedback you could provide would be greatly appreciated as well. I am not looking for a crash diet approach I am basically looking for a way to transition into a healthier me with the perks of a hotter 30 year old body!

Hopefully some of this makes sense and isn’t too much of a reveal into my personal life.

 

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This entry was published on October. 15. 2012 at 8:01 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

One thought on “admitting my challenges

  1. Mary Dockery on said:

    Being one of those privileged people to watch you grow in the last 30 years I am amazed at the strength and wisdom you have taken away from every situation (good or bad). This is problably why I look to you for advice. You don’t always tell me what I want to hear and we don’t always see eye to eye on things but it is awesome to have someone to turn to in your time of need. I hope that you continue to take risk and grab the bull by the horns. Never forget where you came from but reinventing yourself is much needed sometimes. Thank your better half for me cause I believe he came along at the right time for you. I love you and I’m very proud of you.

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