Most of what I will write in the next week or so will not be the most inspiring and uplifting and it is the truth. It is something that is needed to get out before moving forward. I want other women to see that they are not the only ones and that other people feel this way and we owe it to ourselves to reach out to one another and support one another.
Pre-baby life was great! I knew it was great, I knew I had it good. I had a great job, great income, fun outlook on life. Always looking for the next adventure. Oh, and my body was where I had always wanted it to be. I felt strong and empowered.
Then…. Pregnancy. That is where it all flipped for me. I hated being pregnant. I did not welcome it as a beautiful life experience. For me, it was a cage. It stopped me from doing the things I usually could do. I had to be more responsible. I stopped being social and going out with friends and colleagues because I hated the way I looked and hated that now people only wanted to talk to me about being pregnant. Why didn’t anyone want to talk about my lie anymore? It was constant questions about my body, my pregnancy and my plans as a parent. It was like the original Anna had completely disappeared.
And then there is post baby. Where you give up everything to keep this little amazing human alive and you look up a few months later and you don’t even recognize yourself anymore.
For the past 18 months I have been mourning the loss of my past self. It is time to accept that I am not that person anymore. I have evolved and I owe it to myself and the people I love around me to re-design my life and make it work for me with my new being and life.
The goal is to start from within and pick a new goal to help me see that the determined Anna is still in there. Stay tuned….